In a Moment, Everything Changes

Ever had a watershed moment in your life when....suddenly...everything changes?  When you see things differently, all of a sudden, as if you were looking through a foggy windshield, then suddenly someone wiped it clean for you?

I have just had one of those. 

Someone we know (but we don't know him very well) got sick recently.  Very sick.  He is just really, really ill.  This is a person who is well respected, well liked, well known in his field, and he was just at the pinnacle of success in his career / field, and now he's really sick and ... things are just really, really uncertain right now.  Suddenly.

Now, meanwhile, Tom and I have had what is probably the worst year in our marriage.  The year is hopefully about over.  We talk about it now like we are hoping that it's done and we can pick up the pieces from the year and hopefully re-assemble our lives and our marriage.

This man's illness is not really connected with the worst year in our marriage, but somehow I thought about this man, and I thought about this worst year, and when I put the two disjointed subjects together onto the same palette, the one subject made the other subject look differently.   I am not sure how that works.  But it does. 

Let me try to put it another way. 

I have a cousin who is a talented artist, among other things.  He does this type of art called stippling (sp).  When I saw a picture that he had made using this technique, I asked him "is that like pointillism?"  Pointillism is a type of drawing that you study in Art History in college.  It's a term you may know better than stippling.  At any rate, they seem similar to me.  If you put a bunch of pencil dots on a piece of paper, it looks random and not connected.  But if you put enough of them on that piece of paper and in certain patterns, and then look at the picture from a sort of distance, then it looks like...art.  It's beautiful and very effective.  I think one time the cousin posted the picture he had drawn and said there were (and then he identified the number of dots on the page...it was in the thousands.)  Unbelievable.  Really cool stuff.

So the dots on the page seem unconnected, but put 'em together in a certain way and in certain patterns and you come up with something that just makes sense. 

That's what happened with me and these two unconnected situations.  One makes the other one "just make sense." 

There is a song whose lyrics include, "God moves in such mysterious ways, His glorious wonders to perform."  He really does move in mysterious ways.  And I am glad that I am not God, because He really does have a lot of things to keep track of.  I cannot keep track of my cell phone, let alone my life, and so I am glad that there is a mysterious God who has some kind of glorious PDA and keeps all our lives organized on it.  He even puts together unconnected circumstances and makes them effective and powerful in our lives.  He's pretty amazing.  

Now, back to my life and putting some random dots on the pages of my life.  I have a pretty good feeling God will connect the dots for me.  
 

Bullying

We have a loved one (not mentioning any names) who has been dealing with a certain amount of teasing at school.  Not really bullying, but just a few notches past the teasing.  This loved one is really bothered by it.  We've been trying to help this loved one deal with it.  It's a tough one!  Bullying is a hot topic these days.  It really upsets me when I hear about it, read about it, know about it, and just think about it.  Grr! 

Anyway, recently I found out that Elisha, Elijah's protege, was bullied.  See 2 Kings 2:23 and thereabouts.  He was walking down the road when a group of young kids came up to him and called him names.   "Go on up, you baldhead!  Go on up, you baldhead!"  He put a curse on them in the name of the Lord, and shortly afterward 40 or so of them were mauled to death.  

Elisha was God's anointed to follow in Elijah's footsteps and even he was bullied.  This was a revelation to me.  I started to think about it - how many other men of God were bullied?  And what did they do about it?  After I did a bit of research and then thought about it some more, I realized that bullying is all over the Bible.  Job was bullied, in a way, by his so-called friends who asked him what sins he committed to warrant the terrible things that were happening to him.  Joseph was bullied by his brothers.  Paul, formerly Saul, WAS a bully before he was converted.  I think Moses felt put-upon by all the grumbling Israelites who came to him with their troubles.  He didn't know what to do with all their caterwauling.  He was bullied, in a way.  

Time, then, for a study on bullying.  How did men of God deal with bullying?  How does God deal with bullies?  How does  God deal with the bullied - the victims?  Come on back in the near future and I'll post my comments and research.  I do know that my loved one was kind of surprised that I found this Biblical reference to bullying in the Bible.  

Some things never change.  Some things have been going on since creation.  The serpent was a bully; he taunted Eve with deceit and lies.   He was the original bully.  I want to find out the best way to deal with it and the best way to understand it; then maybe I can help my loved one.  I've been bullied a few times myself.  

Later guys!  Now be nice to each other!   

Hey! My Phone Rang!

Today my phone rang while I was at work.  Not recognizing the number, I sent the call to voice mail and continued on with my tutoring session.  Later, I checked my phone for voice mails, and there was one.  "Hello, Lisa, this is Joe Smith from the (local baseball farm team), and if you could return my call, I would really appreciate it."  Then he proceeded to give me his phone number (with the extension!) so that I could return his call at my earliest convenience.

I listened to this voice mail and my first thought was, "Call you back?!  The nerve!  No way am I going to call you back!"  Then, "I don't even know this guy!"  Then, "Who does this anymore?  Who actually makes calls in order to talk to people!"  I got a little irritated.  Later I thought about it and acknowledged to myself, well, he did actually leave a very nice voice mail and he was polite and all that, so I should call him back and find out how much money he wants us to donate to his very fine sports organization.  I think I was on their list because my kids all won tickets to a game last summer, during the reading program at the local library.  We had a fine evening at the stadium, the memory of which is marred only by the unfortunate fact that Jenna ate a TON of junk food and promptly threw up all over me in the 7th inning.  Then it was time for our own 7th inning stretch and a one way trip to the car -- with home and a shower being our destination and goal.  'Nuff said.

I then remembered how the nice people from the Cleveland Orchestra used to call me every so often and try to get me to sign up for their monthly concerts.  Their concerts are expensive, and they often don't start until 8:00 p.m., which is our bedtime, so it's not likely that I'll be back there any time soon.  I got on their mailing list (and evidently their phone list too) because I once took my dad to see them on a Friday lunchtime concert, which was the final concert I was able to escort him to before he got really sick before his death a couple years ago. 

Anyway, the point about the Cleveland Orchestra phone callers is this:  they, too, were extremely nice and polite.  The one lady, I really liked her phone manner.  She was so exuberant and she was so interested in explaining to me all the benefits of becoming a member of the Orchestra fan club or whatever it was called.  I just loved listening to her.  She had a great phone voice along with actual phone etiquette.   I learned a lot about the orchestra during the conversation and, while she really wanted me to join up so that the organization could get the income from my regular purchase of tickets, she was also gracious when I let her run through the entire spiel only to turn her down flat.  She was not obnoxious or rude; she kindly let me go.  Eventually the orchestra stopped calling.

The point is, wow, we (okay, I) have really changed.  We can hardly bear to take the time to answer a phone call now because we are all so shortsighted and attention-deficited.  Well, I guess I can only speak for myself.  If I cannot reduce the elements of a conversation to a text or a short email, I can't be bothered.  This blog is breaking my brain!  I have to organize my thoughts, be coherent, and explain myself without a "LOL" or a "OMG".  My kids don't even know what a telemarketer is, because we got rid of our land line about two years ago and so the only time the phone rings, it's a cousin down the street wanting to come over; a sister calling to see if I can pick up one of the cousins; or the school nurse calling to tell my my kid is sick and come pick him/her up.  Bottom line, I saw the belly of the beast this week when that nice man called and I considered my nasty reaction.  Sorry.   I need to slow down and pick up my phone if it rings.  So text me already!

I Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself

I took this (copy-paste) directly from Ray Pritchard's blog - it's a 2008 posting.   Tom and I heard him speak at Maranatha Bible Conference several years ago.  I am not trying to claim these words as my own, I repeat....this is from Mr. Pritchard's blog.  But I could not have said it better myself - and - I have been trying really hard to find a way to say these things - without success - so this will have to do!

"An email came from someone asking for advice on how to leave a church. The details don’t matter except that both the husband and wife have concluded that after years of being in one particular congregation, the time has come for them to find another place of worship.  . . . In any case, the question was not, “Should we leave?” but rather, “How should we leave?” Here is part of what I wrote in response:


Leaving a church is always difficult and there is no perfect way to do it, but there are some ways that are better and some ways that are worse.


Three words should guide your actions:


Leave quickly.


Leave quietly.


Leave graciously.


Quickly means when you leave, you leave. Drawing out your exit rarely makes things better. It doesn’t help to “sort of” leave a church. When the time comes to leave, make your exit and go your way.


Quietly means you don’t try to explain yourself to others. In my judgment, you don’t owe a long explanation to every person in the church. If you have certain responsibilities in the church, you should let the leaders know so they can make proper plans. And quietly means you don’t write letters to the congregation or make a big announcement and you don’t try to explain yourself over and over again. That’s usually a big mistake. Sometimes people who leave a church try to control what other people say after they are gone. Forget about it. You can’t control what anyone says. Some people may be deeply hurt by your leaving. It may mean the end of some friendships. Certainly things will change. You can’t say, “I want to leave this church but I want all my relationships to stay the same.” I think you’ll find that some people relate to you primarily as a part of the church, and they won’t be able to have the same relationship with you when you are gone. You have to be willing to let that happen and not try to control things. Leaving means letting go.


Graciously means you refuse to speak evil of those who remain in the church. Look forward, not backward. Focus on your new church, not your old one. Think carefully before you speak about your former congregation. Don’t say anything that could be remotely construed as criticism. Even casual comments could stir up needless controversy. . . .


In the end, Christ is Lord both of your former church and your new church. He loves both with an everlasting love. Those churches were both there before you came along and both will be there after you are off the scene. The church of Jesus is so much larger than anything we can imagine—and God’s work is far bigger than our limited vision.


When the time comes to leave, leave. Don’t hesitate, dawdle, and don’t be like Lot’s wife who looked back. You may not turn into a pillar of salt but looking back will do no good either. So leave with a good heart, trusting that the same Lord is Lord over both churches. He will care for both congregations. You can be sure of that.   (Note from Lisa: A huge thanks to Ray Pritchard and his blog for helping me out here.)