In a Moment, Everything Changes

Ever had a watershed moment in your life when....suddenly...everything changes?  When you see things differently, all of a sudden, as if you were looking through a foggy windshield, then suddenly someone wiped it clean for you?

I have just had one of those. 

Someone we know (but we don't know him very well) got sick recently.  Very sick.  He is just really, really ill.  This is a person who is well respected, well liked, well known in his field, and he was just at the pinnacle of success in his career / field, and now he's really sick and ... things are just really, really uncertain right now.  Suddenly.

Now, meanwhile, Tom and I have had what is probably the worst year in our marriage.  The year is hopefully about over.  We talk about it now like we are hoping that it's done and we can pick up the pieces from the year and hopefully re-assemble our lives and our marriage.

This man's illness is not really connected with the worst year in our marriage, but somehow I thought about this man, and I thought about this worst year, and when I put the two disjointed subjects together onto the same palette, the one subject made the other subject look differently.   I am not sure how that works.  But it does. 

Let me try to put it another way. 

I have a cousin who is a talented artist, among other things.  He does this type of art called stippling (sp).  When I saw a picture that he had made using this technique, I asked him "is that like pointillism?"  Pointillism is a type of drawing that you study in Art History in college.  It's a term you may know better than stippling.  At any rate, they seem similar to me.  If you put a bunch of pencil dots on a piece of paper, it looks random and not connected.  But if you put enough of them on that piece of paper and in certain patterns, and then look at the picture from a sort of distance, then it looks like...art.  It's beautiful and very effective.  I think one time the cousin posted the picture he had drawn and said there were (and then he identified the number of dots on the page...it was in the thousands.)  Unbelievable.  Really cool stuff.

So the dots on the page seem unconnected, but put 'em together in a certain way and in certain patterns and you come up with something that just makes sense. 

That's what happened with me and these two unconnected situations.  One makes the other one "just make sense." 

There is a song whose lyrics include, "God moves in such mysterious ways, His glorious wonders to perform."  He really does move in mysterious ways.  And I am glad that I am not God, because He really does have a lot of things to keep track of.  I cannot keep track of my cell phone, let alone my life, and so I am glad that there is a mysterious God who has some kind of glorious PDA and keeps all our lives organized on it.  He even puts together unconnected circumstances and makes them effective and powerful in our lives.  He's pretty amazing.  

Now, back to my life and putting some random dots on the pages of my life.  I have a pretty good feeling God will connect the dots for me.  
 

Bullying

We have a loved one (not mentioning any names) who has been dealing with a certain amount of teasing at school.  Not really bullying, but just a few notches past the teasing.  This loved one is really bothered by it.  We've been trying to help this loved one deal with it.  It's a tough one!  Bullying is a hot topic these days.  It really upsets me when I hear about it, read about it, know about it, and just think about it.  Grr! 

Anyway, recently I found out that Elisha, Elijah's protege, was bullied.  See 2 Kings 2:23 and thereabouts.  He was walking down the road when a group of young kids came up to him and called him names.   "Go on up, you baldhead!  Go on up, you baldhead!"  He put a curse on them in the name of the Lord, and shortly afterward 40 or so of them were mauled to death.  

Elisha was God's anointed to follow in Elijah's footsteps and even he was bullied.  This was a revelation to me.  I started to think about it - how many other men of God were bullied?  And what did they do about it?  After I did a bit of research and then thought about it some more, I realized that bullying is all over the Bible.  Job was bullied, in a way, by his so-called friends who asked him what sins he committed to warrant the terrible things that were happening to him.  Joseph was bullied by his brothers.  Paul, formerly Saul, WAS a bully before he was converted.  I think Moses felt put-upon by all the grumbling Israelites who came to him with their troubles.  He didn't know what to do with all their caterwauling.  He was bullied, in a way.  

Time, then, for a study on bullying.  How did men of God deal with bullying?  How does God deal with bullies?  How does  God deal with the bullied - the victims?  Come on back in the near future and I'll post my comments and research.  I do know that my loved one was kind of surprised that I found this Biblical reference to bullying in the Bible.  

Some things never change.  Some things have been going on since creation.  The serpent was a bully; he taunted Eve with deceit and lies.   He was the original bully.  I want to find out the best way to deal with it and the best way to understand it; then maybe I can help my loved one.  I've been bullied a few times myself.  

Later guys!  Now be nice to each other!   

Hey! My Phone Rang!

Today my phone rang while I was at work.  Not recognizing the number, I sent the call to voice mail and continued on with my tutoring session.  Later, I checked my phone for voice mails, and there was one.  "Hello, Lisa, this is Joe Smith from the (local baseball farm team), and if you could return my call, I would really appreciate it."  Then he proceeded to give me his phone number (with the extension!) so that I could return his call at my earliest convenience.

I listened to this voice mail and my first thought was, "Call you back?!  The nerve!  No way am I going to call you back!"  Then, "I don't even know this guy!"  Then, "Who does this anymore?  Who actually makes calls in order to talk to people!"  I got a little irritated.  Later I thought about it and acknowledged to myself, well, he did actually leave a very nice voice mail and he was polite and all that, so I should call him back and find out how much money he wants us to donate to his very fine sports organization.  I think I was on their list because my kids all won tickets to a game last summer, during the reading program at the local library.  We had a fine evening at the stadium, the memory of which is marred only by the unfortunate fact that Jenna ate a TON of junk food and promptly threw up all over me in the 7th inning.  Then it was time for our own 7th inning stretch and a one way trip to the car -- with home and a shower being our destination and goal.  'Nuff said.

I then remembered how the nice people from the Cleveland Orchestra used to call me every so often and try to get me to sign up for their monthly concerts.  Their concerts are expensive, and they often don't start until 8:00 p.m., which is our bedtime, so it's not likely that I'll be back there any time soon.  I got on their mailing list (and evidently their phone list too) because I once took my dad to see them on a Friday lunchtime concert, which was the final concert I was able to escort him to before he got really sick before his death a couple years ago. 

Anyway, the point about the Cleveland Orchestra phone callers is this:  they, too, were extremely nice and polite.  The one lady, I really liked her phone manner.  She was so exuberant and she was so interested in explaining to me all the benefits of becoming a member of the Orchestra fan club or whatever it was called.  I just loved listening to her.  She had a great phone voice along with actual phone etiquette.   I learned a lot about the orchestra during the conversation and, while she really wanted me to join up so that the organization could get the income from my regular purchase of tickets, she was also gracious when I let her run through the entire spiel only to turn her down flat.  She was not obnoxious or rude; she kindly let me go.  Eventually the orchestra stopped calling.

The point is, wow, we (okay, I) have really changed.  We can hardly bear to take the time to answer a phone call now because we are all so shortsighted and attention-deficited.  Well, I guess I can only speak for myself.  If I cannot reduce the elements of a conversation to a text or a short email, I can't be bothered.  This blog is breaking my brain!  I have to organize my thoughts, be coherent, and explain myself without a "LOL" or a "OMG".  My kids don't even know what a telemarketer is, because we got rid of our land line about two years ago and so the only time the phone rings, it's a cousin down the street wanting to come over; a sister calling to see if I can pick up one of the cousins; or the school nurse calling to tell my my kid is sick and come pick him/her up.  Bottom line, I saw the belly of the beast this week when that nice man called and I considered my nasty reaction.  Sorry.   I need to slow down and pick up my phone if it rings.  So text me already!

I Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself

I took this (copy-paste) directly from Ray Pritchard's blog - it's a 2008 posting.   Tom and I heard him speak at Maranatha Bible Conference several years ago.  I am not trying to claim these words as my own, I repeat....this is from Mr. Pritchard's blog.  But I could not have said it better myself - and - I have been trying really hard to find a way to say these things - without success - so this will have to do!

"An email came from someone asking for advice on how to leave a church. The details don’t matter except that both the husband and wife have concluded that after years of being in one particular congregation, the time has come for them to find another place of worship.  . . . In any case, the question was not, “Should we leave?” but rather, “How should we leave?” Here is part of what I wrote in response:


Leaving a church is always difficult and there is no perfect way to do it, but there are some ways that are better and some ways that are worse.


Three words should guide your actions:


Leave quickly.


Leave quietly.


Leave graciously.


Quickly means when you leave, you leave. Drawing out your exit rarely makes things better. It doesn’t help to “sort of” leave a church. When the time comes to leave, make your exit and go your way.


Quietly means you don’t try to explain yourself to others. In my judgment, you don’t owe a long explanation to every person in the church. If you have certain responsibilities in the church, you should let the leaders know so they can make proper plans. And quietly means you don’t write letters to the congregation or make a big announcement and you don’t try to explain yourself over and over again. That’s usually a big mistake. Sometimes people who leave a church try to control what other people say after they are gone. Forget about it. You can’t control what anyone says. Some people may be deeply hurt by your leaving. It may mean the end of some friendships. Certainly things will change. You can’t say, “I want to leave this church but I want all my relationships to stay the same.” I think you’ll find that some people relate to you primarily as a part of the church, and they won’t be able to have the same relationship with you when you are gone. You have to be willing to let that happen and not try to control things. Leaving means letting go.


Graciously means you refuse to speak evil of those who remain in the church. Look forward, not backward. Focus on your new church, not your old one. Think carefully before you speak about your former congregation. Don’t say anything that could be remotely construed as criticism. Even casual comments could stir up needless controversy. . . .


In the end, Christ is Lord both of your former church and your new church. He loves both with an everlasting love. Those churches were both there before you came along and both will be there after you are off the scene. The church of Jesus is so much larger than anything we can imagine—and God’s work is far bigger than our limited vision.


When the time comes to leave, leave. Don’t hesitate, dawdle, and don’t be like Lot’s wife who looked back. You may not turn into a pillar of salt but looking back will do no good either. So leave with a good heart, trusting that the same Lord is Lord over both churches. He will care for both congregations. You can be sure of that.   (Note from Lisa: A huge thanks to Ray Pritchard and his blog for helping me out here.)

December 2011 News

Hey y'all.

I am off for six or seven weeks, not sure how long exactly, but suffice it to say I'm trying to get stuff done here.

Tom has been subbing at the middle school for an intervention class.  So pray for him.  It's been difficult for him, but the paychecks will help us fund our trip this coming summer.  More on that later.

We praise God that the new pastor for Tallmadge Alliance has been hired.  He will begin formally in January.  This is one of those woo-hoo moments!!!   

Jenna has been coming up with the doozies lately.  See our facebook page (Lisa Cross Vogt search) and you will get the goods on our 6 year old.  She is a phenomenal reader. 

Josh is wrestling - 5th grade - and learning how to lose gracefully.  It's his MOTHER who is having a hard time with the whole thing. "Don't touch my kid!"  type stuff.  He is a polite, nice boy.

Debbie is an artist, a reader, an athlete, a friend, and a memorizer of verses and songs.  She has essentially taught herself and her sister how to play the piano.  I don't get it!!  (oh yeah - I did that myself about 40 yrs ago).

Tom and I are struggling on many levels so give us a break and pray for us.  The other day we decided we are "this close" to being admitted to a nursing home (pick or choose which one of us, it applies to both).   Aches, pains, back pain, headaches, fatigue, hamstring pulls, lower back, upper back, whatever, you name it we've got it.  Just a coupl'a cripples.  Don't even think about taking away our Tylenol. 

We get a lot of joy out of our kids and we both realize we would be lost without them.  Last night Jenna reported, "I heard a rumor on the radio....that Santa isn't real."  We quickly put the kabosh on that notion.  Santa had better be real!!  Right?

More later, love  Tom and Lisa
 

Fun Aspects of Having a Six-Year-Old

Two nights ago, I was (as usual) sleepless at 2:30 a.m.  I have no idea why I have insomnia!  Give me a break!  I don't even drink coffee anymore (much).  There is a Starbucks in the building where I work, and I have been doing my best to avoid that temptation.  I work 12:30 to 5:30 pm, and the later I get over there for my usual, the better chance I have of being wide-awake all night.  So I'm doing really well with the avoiding-of-coffee thing.  I also have not had any "Polar Pops" from Circle K in months.  No Diet Coke, that's crazy, right? 
    Anyway, so there I was sleepless in Rootstown, just counting sheep and trying to go back to sleep (trust me, trying to go back to sleep never works).  All of a sudden, I hear this beautiful sound in the room.  oh -- I gotta back up.  Jenna had apparently come into our room after I fell asleep the first time.  (Oh, she RARELY comes into the parents' room!  ha!)  She was sprawled all over the bed in between Tom and me.   She's a broad sleeper, so to speak.   The sound I heard was just music to my ears.  Jenna was giggling and giggling, and then she just started outright laughing.  Having a grand ole' time in the middle of the night.  This really made me smile.  Then I started laughing.  It was an all-out laugh fest.  Actually, I think her laughter put me back to sleep, because I don't remember much after that.
    The next day, I said, "Jenna, you were laughing so much during your sleep!"  She said, "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you.  I had a dream last night."   I guess she did not remember the dream's contents.  She just remembered that she had a dream.  
   I told her, "I loved hearing you laugh.  You just giggled and giggled.  Thank you for making my night.  There is nothing better than hearing a first grader giggle, especially in the middle of the night.  I love to hear you laugh."  She beamed. 
    Good times.

Wal-Mart Halloween

Halloween weekend, 2011.

Didn't plan ahead (as usual).

No room in the budget for costumes.

An unexpected refund in the mail.  Twenty dollars.

An unexpected half day of subbing for Tom.  Forty dollars.

Wal-Mart to the rescue.

Twenty minutes and sixty dollars later....

I no longer have one boy and two girls.

I have one werewolf, one cowgirl and one "Frankie Stein".

Thanks Wal-Mart! 

Why I Like Basic Writing Students

I really like working with basic writing students, for the most part.  I love their writing.  It is so raw and real.  Today, a student came in and asked me to proofread her essay.  She wrote about her mother.  She wrote about what it was like growing up with a mom who was the town drunk.  She explained how the kids learned to deal with their alcoholic mother's antics.  They would leave school for the day and head over to the bar, where their mother was on either her first, second or third beer.  They hoped to arrive sooner rather than later, so that Mom would only be on her first or second beer, and thus would be more able to communicate with the kids about their day, or their needs.  If she was coherent, she would take them to the store or take them home and they'd start their afternoon and evening. 

Mom was always in danger of losing her job, as you can imagine.  Things were really chaotic in this household.  Eventually Mom realized she needed to quit drinking, and she did, enduring three weeks of withdrawal.  At this point, my student writes that she had an epiphany:  "Mom needed something creative to do with  her time."   She wrote that she suggested to her mom, "Why don't you come to the school and help out in the classroom?  The teachers always need extra help."  She reported in her story that her mom actually took her daughter up on her offer, and showed up at the school, sober and ready and willing to help.  She never looked back.  She stayed sober and became an uber-volunteer.  She loved the school, the teachers and the students.  The teachers appreciated her.  The family lost their negative reputation in the town,  and the kids' lives improved immensely.  She talked about how proud she was of her mother.  This young lady had saved her mom's life, and she was writing about how proud she was of her mother!  I was moved by this girl's courage, and by her humility.

We worked on the essay and improved it, starting with spelling errors and moving on to sentence structure and paragraph development.  But I essentially told my student, "Overall, I would not change a thing about your essay's content.  I loved it."  She looked and me and said, "Thanks."   I said, "How is your mom doing now?"  She hesitated and then replied, "I'm a little sad right now because she died two months ago.  Today is her birthday." 

There are no words for a moment like that.  I was stunned.  How unfair!  I told her how sorry I was.  I said, you saved your mom's life when you were just a little girl. You did a very brave and wise thing.  You are very special.  This young lady just looked at me.  I could tell, just by looking at her, that life was still difficult for her, even though her mom had sobered up years ago.  Mom was now gone and she was on her own.  Her appearance did not indicate that her life was going swimmingly.  Here she was in a basic writing class, trying to gain full admission into the university.  Yet she was working hard, and doing her best.  In this one little essay, she captured what I might term the "anatomy" of growing up the child of an alcoholic.  How does one get over that?  What else was she not saying in her essay?  She did such a great job dissecting the subject.  And why not -- she was an expert in it.  She knew it from the inside out. 

During our meeting she exuded such tenderness, even though her edges were rough.  I think if you live long enough, God blesses you with chance meetings like I had today with this young lady.  Today, and on quite a few days recently, I feel incomparably rich.   

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

I just read in a "book on journaling" that it's a good idea to keep a log of things your  kids said at the dinner table, as well as interesting things they've done.  We all intend to do these things, don't we?  We want to be good chroniclers of life events and "things my kids said" and we want to be excellent scrapbookers and excellent with the facebook postings.  But life goes by so fast for us, and I, myself, am not doing too well in this area.  So I decided that since I had a few minutes, I would just post a couple of things seen and heard around the Vogt house lately. 

Yesterday, Tom and I got to see Jenna at her sparring-best.  Tom took the "day off" from doing Children's Moments during the church service.  So Pastor Nick got the nod.  There was a small group of children and Nick had his hand-held microphone.  So he was asking the kids little popcorn-style quick questions.  Unfortunately or fortunately for him, Jenna was sitting right next to him on the stage and Matthew was sitting right next to her.  Poor Nick didn't know what hit him.  Jenna went toe-to-toe with him and even upstaged him a few times.  Tom and I were so proud of her.  Their back-and-forth "banter" went so quickly that I couldn't even take it down in shorthand.  Suffice it to say, our little 6 year old made our day.  Someone even stopped me in the parking lot and expressed her appreciation.  Thanks, Jenna! 

Recently the kids were doing their devotions with Tom.  Miss Erica writes the kids' devotionals, and now she is reviewing the Ten Commandments with the kids.   So as the kids were working on them the other day with Tom, and they were reciting the commandments, we were reminded of the very first time when the kids memorized the commandments.  Josh may have been six or seven years old; I cannot remember.  Anyway, when they got to the (fifth or sixth) commandment (not sure myself), Josh said, "Do not commit adoption."  We laughed so hard when he said that, but it was even funnier to report this to Deb, since she has gone through the adoption process for three of her kids.  She appreciated this one.  A lot.

Lastly, I was serving the kids a snack recently, and Kyle (age 10) was visiting.  Somehow we got on the topic of people's  names.  How sometimes a kid gets saddled with a weird first name or a lousy last name.  I said, "You know, you CAN get your name changed.  You don't have to keep it.  Does anyone know how to get their name changed legally?"  Kyle reported, "I think that you can, but I think you have to pay a lot of money and you have to get permission from, like, the President or something." 

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Writing Center Blues

I've got this crazy new job, working part time as a faculty tutor in the writing center at a local university.  There are a bunch of student (peer) tutors in there, along with a few of us faculty tutors, assisting students with their writing.  They bring in their essays and we go over them, reviewing them for whatever concerns the students have, and we offer suggestions as well as helping to review grammar and punctuation issues.   Some days I am really busy, seeing students every half hour, working nonstop.  Other days I sit there and drink coffee and read magazines or (sometimes) the Bible.  I get paid the same, whether I see 10 students or no students.  

This new milieu was a little disconcerting at first.  I am used to being paid to do...uh...work.  In my previous work as a medical transcriptionist, if I did not type, I did not get paid.  So this is a new one for me.  Overall, though, I'll take it, because I've gotten caught up on a lot of my reading.   I do feel this little nudge in my spirit telling me to read more of the Bible than of People magazine, though.  (guilt)

Anyway, we see mostly basic writing students, some of whom are still struggling with basic, uh, writing issues....on the sentence level.  We're talking "where do I put my commas?" and "Is this a run-on?"  And lots of poor spelling.  We don't see a lot of complex, deep, thought-provoking research essays. 

I have to say, though, that some of these students' essays/narratives have nearly driven me to tears.  Not tears of the "I can't take it anymore" variety, but the "oh my goodness, I can't believe you went through that tragedy" scenario.  Many of these students have had really hard lives.  I mean, some rough stuff.  Some of them are accepted into the university only on a provisional basis.  They have to pass this course in order to move on to regular freshman-level courses.  They don't even get credit for taking the course.    I'm not sure how they even graduated high school.  Maybe some of them just got their GED.  Maybe not even that.

Many -- maybe most -- of these students have had rough lives and have seen and been through quite a bit of devastating circumstances.  Basically, their presence at the university is a miracle.  My heart just spills with empathy for them.  How do they do it?  They have so many strikes against them.  I can just hope and pray and encourage them, even in the limited venue of a writing center.  I feel like the scope of my assistance is too narrow to be of any effect on them.   But I just keep plugging away at it. 

I write about the writing lab because I've realized during these last couple of months of sitting in the writing lab, that I'm not the only person who has gone through "stuff" in her life.  In fact, I'm beginning to suspect that my life has actually been rather easy, comparatively speaking.  It's a rather shocking realization, one that is just beginning to inch its way to the forefront of my mind.  It's like I'm coming out of a denial.  I'm still fighting it, okay?  So give me some more time.  Could it be -- no!  It can't be -- I've led a fairly privileged life?  I've had it pretty easy?  That may require me to admit that I've been, uh, complaining...grumbling...like the Israelites when they got sick of the manna that miraculously appeared to them every day.  Hmm.   

I keep thinking of the song, "Thankful."  Josh Groban sings it.  I'm not sure if he wrote it or if he just recorded it.   You hear it quite a bit while you're shopping at Dollar General or some other store during the holidays.  He ends the song, "There's so much to be thankful for."  I agree.  I've got an incredible husband, three amazing kids, a huge extended family, a decent job, a home, transportation, and an education.  I remember hearing a talk by Women of Faith speaker Luci Swindoll in which she said that if you have bought a book recently and could read that book, you were in like the top one percent of the world's population in terms of wealth.  So if you read a book and if you had the money to buy a book, you should consider yourself rich, comparatively speaking.  That'd be me. 

Now am I supposed to sit here and be defensive about my good fortune?  No, but I think it may be time to move on.  I don't want to admit this, but I think it is time to be done with my moping about some of the circumstances we've been through this past year.   Wallowing isn't what it's cracked up to be. 

I'm gettin' there. 
  

Some Thoughts on Servanthood

G'day.   I did do some research in the Bible on being a servant.  The first verse that stood out to me was James 1:26.  "If you consider yourself religious but don't keep a tight rein on your tongue, you deceive yourself and your religion is worthless."    So if I do all the right things and do a bunch of things that the world would consider to be religious, or Christian in nature, but I don't have control over my tongue, then I am fooling myself and my religion is worthless.   So that seems to suggest at least a two-prongued approach to servanthood:  (1) doing good deeds for others, AND (2) having a self-controlled tongue.  So one without the other renders me non-religious.  If I have control over my tongue but I don't do good deeds for others, then my religion is worthless. 

Next, Matthew 20:28.  "The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His whole life as a ransom for many."   This verse tells me that the point of service is to assist others.  The ultimate servant showed us the true definition of service by giving His whole life to redeem the world.  In other words, true service in its purest sense, is to give of yourself to death.  Christ did that.  He came to serve.  He came to die.   Could servanthood always mean to give to the point of death?  Maybe not a literal death.  But maybe a metaphorical death is being suggested here.  A death to my selfish desires.   A death to my vain ambitions.  Serving others may kill off my selfish desires.  Serving others may destroy my personal ambitions. 

Quite honestly, I find serving others to be a frustrating endeavor.  It has its rewards, but if I am going to be honest here, I am going to say that we have offered to serve, and then found ourselves being taken advantage of.   Have you ever offered yourself to be of service to a person or to an organization and found yourself being used and abused?  Taken advantage of?  Not appreciated?  Exhausted?  Disillusioned? 

To read the above verses and consider how Christ offered Himself to God as a human sacrifice to redeem the souls of man, it's just almost more than I can take.  To willingly endure the torture, the pain, and the death, is just too much for me to understand.  It's a mystery to me.  It's beyond-beyond. 

Today on the radio on the way in to work, Alistair Begg spoke briefly of this mystery of the Lord.  He is indeed, unexplainable.  He is a mystery.  He is inexplicable.   It just doesn't make sense, what He did for me on the Cross, in my economy.  In my economy, in my set of weights and measures, the scale does not balance out.  On paper, it didn't work out for Him. 

Now, I know by faith that it DID work out for Him, but in the crucible of the attempt at servanthood, I find the prospect of service to be lacking.  It quickly loses its luster.  It's not what it is cracked up to be. 

Yet, the bottom line is that when I wanted to do research on the topic of servanthood, where did I go?  Where did I do my research?  I went to the Bible.  I actually didn't go to any commentaries.  I didn't go to Beth Moore.  I didn't go to John Macarthur.  I prayed and then I went to the Bible.  So I went to a good source of information.  I found a raft of verses that study servanthood and they all eventually ended at the cross.  Here is where we find our object lesson in servanthood.  Matthew 20:28.  The Son of Man came not to be served (sounds more like me) but to serve, and to give His whole life (not part of His life) as a ransom for many."   A case study in servanthood. 
 

Servanthood, part 2

Hey y'all.  I finally opened up my Bible.    It turns out that the Bible has a lot to say about servanthood.  I was so embarrassed and so upset when I went through the concordance.  Oy.  I should have looked there first!   Anyway, this is a promise to let you know that after I complete my research, I'll be back....to let you know what the Word has to say about being a servant.  Love, Lisa

What Does it Mean to be a Servant?

     Hey y'all.  Wondering today what it means to be a servant.  Over the last several months, Tom and I have had to really excavate this word "servant".  We're wondering what it really means.  We've had occasion to see the term "serve" and "servant" be used, quite frankly, in vain.  We've seen true servanthood, too...or at least what we had traditionally seen as servanthood.
   Let me tell you...this excavation has been painful.  Pain-full.  Full of pain.  Difficult.  Eye-opening. 
      An analogy is in order.  When you excavate something, you dig down deep to its roots.  When you pull out weeds from your garden, you really need to dig down to the root.  You need to pull out all the tentacles and pathways where the root of the weed has traveled.  If you don't, it'll just grow back.  It might grow back even if you pull out all the roots.  It's just the way it is.
    We've heard this root analogy used when discussing the concept of sin..bitterness...anger..resentment.  When one goes into therapy, or when one prays to God over a matter, one needs to dig deep and get to the heart of the matter.  Usually getting to the heart of the matter is a painful process.  But it almost always involves confession, forgiveness, and a letting go (a pulling-up) of the issue.  Giving it back over to God.
      So to transfer this metaphor, or analogy, over to the concept of servanthood, I've needed to dig deep.  The Lord has assisted me in this process.   I haven't been too grateful for His help.  "Gee, did You really need to be so obvious about it, Lord?"  The pulling-up of the root of servanthood has been painful, because I've seen people say they want to serve but it comes with a caveat.  It comes with a price.  Is that servanthood?  
    "I want to serve"  but "it has to be done my way."  
    "It's my way or the highway".
    "I refuse to do it your way."
     "Let me serve" but with a spirit of grumpiness.
    "I want to help" but they never show up.
    "Anything, I'll do anything"  .....except that. 

These thoughts from the Bible come to mind.
  Our Lord was The Suffering Servant...Isaiah 53. 
  "Greater love hath no man than this...than to lay down his life for his brother."
 Christ came to seek and save the lost.
  We love because He first loved us.

Lord, would You continue to help me to understand what it means to be a servant?  This is a prayer request that You would help me to understand what it truly means to serve.  Why does it end up looking so ugly?  Why does serving others come with a price tag?   Is that how You wanted it?  When I sign my prayers off in this way, "Love, your servant, Lisa".....why do I do that when I'm no better at being a servant than those I criticize?   Diving deep into the waters of servanthood, I find rough waters ahead.  Lord, smooth it out for me so that I can see what you meant by the term. 

Shepherding the Flock Vs. Ensuring that the Flock is Shepherded

I heard an interesting talk by Chip Ingram recently. Wanted to share it.
First, let me address pastors. I know your job is difficult. Your job is impossible, really. You all work so hard caring for your flock. You are preacher, teacher, administrator, boss, father, husband, counselor, exhorter, encourager, organizer, prayer leader, and more.
So a few weeks ago on the radio I heard Chip Ingram talk about this very subject. He talked about a period in his pastorate where he was, you know, "up to here" ....with the demands of his job. Just full-on working like a dog. A parishioner called him and berated him for not coming to visit her when she was in the hospital .... for (evidently) something on the minor side. When queried, Chip replied that yes, he knew she'd been in the hospital. Then he asked her if anyone from the church had come to visit her and she said that yes, a member of her small group had visited her more than once, and she'd had meals delivered to her home several times. So he was able to determine that she had been visited and she had been prayed for and she had had her needs taken care of, by and large.
His point was this: (and I paraphrase) The pastor's job is not to shepherd everyone in the flock. The pastor's job is to make sure everyone in the flock gets shepherded.
Evidently Chip started up small groups in his church after it got upwards of 200 attenders/members/whatever. They were grouped according to some reasonable organizational pattern, and it was basically working. But, he indicated, there will always be those who think that the pastor needs to drop everything, disregard the set-up organizational plans, and tend to a particularly needy or demanding person, just because.
So when I heard this talk on the radio, I began to understand afresh the uncompromising pressure that pastors are under, when faced with unreasonable demands. This was an eye-opener. Chip explained it so well. His job is not to shepherd everyone! His job is to make sure that everyone is shepherded. Setting up the small groups by and large serves this purpose. He said that when a church grows bigger than 100 or so -- that's about the maximum number of people that a pastor can "handle"..... so then you start splitting them up into groups so the needs are more manageable.
I like Chip's approach. I guess he and his church (and radio program Living on the Edge) have helped to set up thousands of small groups across the country and maybe even on a broader scale.
Bottom line... I think Chip was assisting us in understanding a fundamental concept about leadership. He helped me to realize there is a difference between being a micromanager and a delegator. Micromanagers control everything; delegators keep things controllable. Delegators empower others to take control. Micromanagers grab power and control.
This concept is important in any workplace, yet I am seeing that it's much more significant in the church. I would like to explore this more in detail in future postings. Bear with me as I struggle with an understanding of this complex topic.

I Saw Beth Moore

Hey y'all. Now I'm an unofficial Texan. I saw Beth Moore, my heroine, two weeks ago. Tom gave me a get-out-of-jail-free card and I bought a ticket to Living Proof Live in Columbus, Ohio. So I was all ready and pumped for the time of my life. Set off Friday afternoon 8/12 on the I-71 freeway headed for Ohio State University. Made it in time to spare, got my hotel room at the Sheraton, had snacks, and headed back to OSU Schottenstein (sp?) arena to meet my hero....uh....along with what looked like five GAZILLION other women. The line outside was a mile long. Add that to the heat and to my vertigo, and you've got a problem. The solution was to get to the top of the line without keeling over in the heat. This was aided by the fact that I was alone, hence no one to impede my progress. I went there to see...Beth....Moore...and I was bound and determined to get to the front row. So, being the good and obedient groupie that I am, I wended my way through the morass of capri-wearing ladies and I made it to row FIVE. Yes! waited, waited, waited.....then suddenly there we were at 7pm and Travis Cottrell was leadin' worship and I looked and..THERE SHE WAS! My hero(ine)!

Beth is so beautiful in person, even more so? than online or on video. She is engaging, funny, smart, hilarious, all of the above. She somehow couldn't get close enough to me for an intimate conversation :) but we'll work that out and get it accomplished some day soon. Anyway, it was fun.

My quibbles (I'm allowed quibbles because I left my husband and kids for a weekend for this; I paid big bucks to get in; I paid for a hotel room; and I braved crowds and driving ....and I went alone) are .....the music was too loud; the hour was late-ish; the crowds were too big; they would not let us in the building until 6 pm ..why?) and I just .....wanted.....more....of Beth Moore.

IMHO, this speaks of a big gap in the evangelical world. Why are we forced to shell out two hundred dollars just to get a nifty lookin' lady to teach us the Bible? Why did I have to go to Columbus to get a good Bible study? Surely there are other good Bible study teachers closer to Rootstown Ohio. arrggghhh I really missed kids and hubby and the hotel was fine but it wasn't home, if you know what I mean.

My point is that there is a hole in the evangelical world and Beth Moore can't fix it on her own.

Northeast Ohio: surely you can do better than this. I shouldn't have to drive two hours to get a good Bible study.

I was happy to go to see Beth Moore; in fact, I looked forward to it all summer. I just think that she shouldn't have to shoulder the burden all by herself. Anyone?

Looking Up

Sometimes when you are in a pit, you need someone to pull you out. Right off the bat I am going to recommend Beth Moore's book, "Get out of that Pit." She talks extensively and experientially about how we get into a pit (of self destruction) and how we can get out of the pit.

I don't want to go on about Beth Moore today, that's for another day. This lady has taught me so much about the Bible I cannot even believe it. But I'll get into that some other time.

The other day I was on the treadmill and I was listening to a compilation of sermons sent gratis to me by Moody Radio, and I heard an excerpt of a sermon by Alistair Begg. It was called "Ropes to Rags." It was based on a text in the book of Jeremiah where the prophet has been thrown into some kind of pit. He really needs help getting out. And this big Ethiopian guy comes along and is going to pull him out, but it's going to hurt getting yanked up by this big dude. By the way this is in the book of Jeremiah, the 38th chapter, and our Ethiopian giant-with-a-tender-heart's name is Ebed-Melech. He is a Cushite.

So in verse 12 he tells Jeremiah, "Put these old rags and worn out clothes under your arms to pad the ropes." So Jeremiah takes the advice and Ebed and his helpers gently pull him out of the pit.

That's what I need when I am in the pit. I need someone who is strong but who is also gentle. Someone who can do the deed but who is compassionate about it. Getting out of a pit is not an easy thing and it's going to hurt. One needs help to get out of a pit, and one needs kindness to get out of a pit. Praise God for that Ethiopian, who could have just yanked him out and pulled his arm out of his socket, but he didn't. He provided a good lesson for me, both for when I am in the pit and also when someone I know is in a pit. Help 'em out, but be kind and gentle about it.

What Makes a Hero?

Somehow, the mail we've been receiving, the devotionals we receive, the books in our house, keep shoving me toward the concept of "what makes a hero". I'm currently trying to unload our vast collection of books, and I keep running into biographies and going, "I need to keep that and read it." I also voraciously read current books, magazines, etc., and I noticed I am particularly drawn to autobiography, personal testimony stories, etc. I read one just yesterday in a secular magazine in which a mom was queried about her marriage, her career, her children, etc., and it was just fascinating to me. I finally came to and realized, "note to self: you like biography."

Why? Why is memoir and biography such a fascinating genre? And what does this have to do with heroes?

We read biography to read about our heroes. We want to find out how our hero ticked. What made him tick, what made him want to survive, what kept him going, what drove him. These are human concerns. This is the human condition: the will to survive. Hence our need to read biography and memoir/autobiography.

Memoir is a genre that is definitely popular right now. In fact, I think it has seen its apex, because unfortunately memoirs are all starting to sound the same right now, at least in book review magazines. They all sound the same: "a harrowing tale of abuse, terror, and redemption." Trust me. I've read a lot of them, and they are all the same. Celebrity reveals details of horrible childhood. Celebrity grows up and becomes a celebrity. Celebrity falls into the ditch of addiction, alcoholism, crime, etc. Celebrity goes to rehab and figures it all out. All is forgiven. Book gets written. Film at 11.

I'm not kidding! I've read plenty of them!

So anyway, today in the mail we received Randy Alcorn's excellent newsletter and what is the subject, but .....biography. Specifically, he writes about Charles Spurgeon. In the newsletter he says that he believes Spurgeon may have the most writings in print of anyone on the planet. I couldn't believe it! I've read some of Spurgeon's books but did not realize this about him. I didn't know he was so prolific! Did you? Now my interest is piqued. What did he write? What did he have to say? When did he live? How long did he live? Where did he live? What made him tick? And so on.

Bottom line: don't call me the next few days. I will be checking out all the Spurgeon biographies and reading up on my Spurgeon. Need to find out about this guy. Will let you know what all the fuss is about :). He's probably my next hero.

Love Lisa

Running a 5K

Hi, I'm sorry it took me so long to followup. I promised I would write about my first 5K. Now I have officially run my second 5K so I really have to follow through on my promise, and I will write about both 5Ks.

Yesterday was my 2nd 5K. This was again the Tallmadge (OH) Memorial 5K race. Two years ago I ran this race for the first time ever. Keep in mind I am totally not an athlete. This activity is simply for the purpose of staying in motion (bodies in motion stay in motion, bodies at rest stay at rest, simple physics.) Ever since I turned a certain age and started having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, I realized the wisdom of this statement.

This year my time was 5 minutes slower than that of 2 years ago, for which I will not apologize. I was accompanied again by my friend from church, and we got to talkin' during the race, and I just lost track of what was happening, and next thing I knew we were pullin' up the rear so to speak. But when we "came to" and realized that the oldest runner in the race, a 79 year old lady, was ahead of us, we knew we had to get to work. So we sprinted down the last stretch and we dusted that lady. whew! so 36 minutes and some odd seconds for our time this year.

Two years ago, my inaugural race, I had made a huge mistake. I thought I was being cool and I started running the race route ahead of time so as to get to know its little intricacies, etc. However being the novice that I am, I read the map wrong and I made the turnaround earlier than I was supposed to, so my pre-race times were excellent by virtue of running a short 5K. So on race day I had Erica and Tom running with me and when we got to the supposed turnaround, I..uh.. turned around. And my compadres informed me we were not to the turnaround yet. I was floored, devastated, stunned, hurt....and exhausted. I could not believe I had made such an egregious error in map reading. So we kept going and somehow, somehow, I ended up with a time of 31 minutes and some odd seconds. Google the 2009 race results and you'll see an official time, but you won't see the truth of the matter, that our church's elder and children's director had to basically pray me in to the finish line. it was so embarrassing. My tongue was hanging out of my mouth, face was beet red, and I thought I was gonna die. My bad. Next time I'll know better.

anyway this year it did go much better even though our times were slower. My goal was not to gain a better PR but to keep at it, just be diligent and keep in motion. I know that we are to run with endurance the race that is set before us. Paul tells us that. He fought the fight, he stayed in the race. He ran to win. But to finish is to win.

Many Christian athletes use the "running a race" analogy to talk about their faith. I love the metaphor. Really, the Christian life is not a sprint nor a 5K. It is a marathon. It is one foot in front of the other. It is to get back up when you fall. We did see a poor young lady who fell at the first turn and she was crying. Help was on its way but it still hurts when you fall down. And falls will occur. That was a good reminder.

So I like running/jogging/walking/racing as both a way to keep myself limber and as a reminder of my faith walk with Christ. I am grateful to those who walked/ran before me and showed me how to run the course. I need to remember to read the map correctly and to follow it. I need to not mis-read it and thus try to take any shortcuts. It's not a sprint. It's a marathon. Praise God for His Word!

Bible Study Fellowship

Great study this (my first) year, the book of Isaiah. My understanding is next year will be the Acts of the Apostles. Anyway, I have really enjoyed BSF. It was hard to get into the strict and streamlined format, but it is meant to get you into the Word daily and to figure out answers for yourself, not to be spoonfed any answers. This week we studied the "Little Gospel" Isaiah 53. As we studied it I remembered my Dad. He memorized this passage and recited it in church one year long ago. After he died I wanted to honor him somehow so I memorized it too and recited it in church last Easter. This week as we pored over it in BSF, I realized that having memorized it, I was better able to actually study it and remember phrases and sentences. This truly enhanced my ability to understand the passage. I have heard about people who memorize whole passages, whole books of the Bible, not just merely as a feat of "look what I did," but rather, to really immerse the self into the Scriptures. To really have that buried deep inside. When tough times come, the passages, having been rooted down into the mind and heart, get called up and can help one to bear fruit (blossom) at that difficult time.

The AWANA program at churches is a great start to this. Kids get the Word buried into their hearts at an early age. Years and years later those words can bear fruit in lives. Praise God.

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him; there was nothing in his appearance that we would desire Him. He was bruised for our transgressions; crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that was meant for us was put on Him; and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned each one to his own way, and the Lord laid on Him the sins of us all." .....He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth. ....by oppression and judgment He was taken away...and who can speak of his descendants? He was cut off from the land of the living. ........Yet.....it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer. ... and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and will prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in His hand."

The Word of the Lord is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword. It is powerful.

Back On!

G'day.....back on the blog after a lengthy absence. Short posting today to get myself reacquainted with this site an' stuff.....

Today I am promoting our church's "Run for the Rug" campaign. We are asking folks to participate in the Tallmadge Memorial Day 5K and Fun 1-Mile Run, as we are raising funds for carpet for our youth room and nursery areas. (Oh! Better tell the church's name! Tallmadge Alliance Church, Tallmadge Ohio!!)

Erica Smith and I are starting a get-ready class; this will begin the first Saturday in April. We'll go for one hour (I think it starts at 9:30 am) and this class will hopefully assist us in gaining confidence and endurance to run the 5K. (The class I took two years ago for this was called "Couch to 5K" if that tells you anything about me!!!)

Next posting, I'll tell you about my first 5K experience. What a joke!! I did survive it though.

p.s. If anyone needs a laugh (and I needed one last night), go to the library and pick up past issues of Consumer Reports. It's a good magazine but the reading can be tedious, especially all those rankings with the red dots. Whoa! Need my glasses for those! Anyway I'm not saying, read the magazine, (but read it if you so desire). Instead I'm saying...... go to the back page of the magazine as they have product "bloopers". People send in pictures of product packaging, advertisements, etc., with all kinds of errors and weird stuff. It had me in stitches last night. Tom said "you and I don't have exactly the same sense of humor" when I showed him what I was cackling about and he went, "huh".

Anyway one of my favorites is the picture of the "black hole award". This is when you buy a box of something in the store like pasta or healthy bars and you open up the package (good-sized box) and there lo and behold in the wayyyyy bottom is five small healthy bars or some pasta or something and the rest of the package is just......air.

My next favorite is the "complete salad" concept. The package will say "contains one complete meal" and it's some kind of big salad thing in a package, complete with bacon bits, cheese shred, croutons, dressing in a packet, plastic bowl, some chicken cut up for you........only read the fine print and it says "Add salad." Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The last one was touting the "Oregon Department of Educaton" ...."aren't you tired of incompetant educateors" or something like that. We were like, uh, yeah, we are tired of those.

More later......"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; new every morning; great is thy faithfulness, O Lord; great is thy faithfulness." Love, Lisa