Broken Spirit/Contrite Heart Psalm 51:17

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a contrite heart....

Wesley says, "This (broken spirit) is of more value than many sacrifices."

Matthew Henry offers this commentary: (from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary)
Those who are thoroughly convinced of their misery and danger by sin, would spare no cost to obtain the remission of it. But as they cannot make satisfaction for sin, so God cannot take any satisfaction in them, otherwise than as expressing love and duty to him. The good work wrought in every true penitent, is a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart, and sorrow for sin. It is a heart that is tender, and pliable to God's word. Oh that there were such a heart in every one of us! God is graciously pleased to accept this; it is instead of all burnt-offering and sacrifice. The broken heart is acceptable to God only through Jesus Christ; there is no true repentance without faith in him. Men despise that which is broken, but God will not. He will not overlook it, he will not refuse or reject it; though it makes God no satisfaction for the wrong done to him by sin. Those who have been in spiritual troubles, know how to pity and pray for others afflicted in like manner. David was afraid lest his sin should bring judgements upon the city and kingdom. No personal fears or troubles of conscience can make the soul, which has received grace, careless about the interests of the church of God. And let this be the continued joy of all the redeemed, that they have redemption through the blood of Christ, the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of his grace.

Why, you ask, the long sermon today? Yesterday things all came down to a screeching halt for me emotionally and mentally. The kids were rowdy, homeschooling was going dismally, and, to boot, it was raining! AND the dogs were going to the bathroom in the house again!!!!! My life has seemed lately to be a circuitous route of cleaning up dog doo-doo, cleaning up after kids, making a meal which the kids won't eat, not able to go out because our driveway is nearly flooded again, kids arguing, Josh bouncing off the walls because he can't play outside, dogs fighting and barking, me worrying about gettting depressed this winter which usually happens to me, etc etc and on and on and so forth and so on........ just unbelievable fatigue and then despair. (BTW we read last night in "THE BOOK OF NIGHT" that not getting enough sleep is like the worst thing that can happen to a body....Tom and I were gravely nodding our heads in agreement on that one).
Anyway, in the midst of this, I felt descending upon me those twin evils .... of bitterness and resentment. They are a bad, bad combination. I felt it toward Tom for some reason. I just could not be kind toward him. I blamed all my daily troubles on him.
And I knew it was wrong. Those twins are worse than any daily hassles or struggles that befall any of us.
And I had to confess it. To Tom and to God.
And then the verse, above, came to me. (see why AWANA is so important? The exact verse you need comes to you when you need it, just when you need it ..... so bury those verses in your heart....just like the children do.)
My heart is broken and my spirit is broken and God will not despise that. We no longer need to bring sacrifices of turtledoves and pigeons or lambs or jewelry into the temple. We simply need to drop our broken tattered hearts and souls at the altar of prayer.
So I did that yesterday morning. But when Tom got home last night I felt it again! There was more doggie doo-doo! More rain! Kids were being disrespectful! ARgghhhhhh!
So I am confessing it again. I know His word is true, the sacrifices of a broken spirit and a contrite heart are pleasing to God. He will not despise that. Please forgive me for these twin evils of bitterness and resentment because they are worse than anything bad the kids will do. Any song I sing, any act of service, will be pleasing to the Lord but right now this confession is all He wants of me. So, I'm sorry. Please, Lord, forgive me....please, tom, forgive me.
Humbly submitted, Lisa